Opinion: 60th Filmfare Awards – Who I Want To Win (but probably won’t…)

Oh hurrah, it is the Filmfare Awards!

Said no-one ever. But I still care enough to bitch and moan about it so haters,  let’s debate about the contents of this post instead. Shukriya.

I have snarked enough in the past about awards in Hindi cinema (see here for my snarkado last year) so let’s just summarise – the awards are all about balancing egos, placating PR teams who have allotted marketing budgets for awards of their choosing, making a big song and dance about how everyone turns up on time and talking about how everyone loved giving up five or more hours of their lives that they will never get back. Oh, and if there is a time, a good film might just be recognised for its contribution to Indian cinema.

Unlike the Oscars (there, I said it) one is unlikely to watch a film just because it is in the running for or actually won a Filmfare award. The criteria for the awards appears muddled at best and totally non-existent at worse. If Filmfare really does want to become THE awards ceremony like the Oscars (which by the way, is not quite the Utopia it is made out to be) it needs to find that middle ground which prioritises art and posterity over commercialism and the star system without losing popular appeal. Sounds tough but that is what it used to be.

I am not saying the 100 crore club and masala films should be totally ignored – they are just as important as parallel and independent cinema and deserve to be awarded, especially for innovation and breaking out of their mould. But it is up to Filmfare to curate the best of ALL genres and bring them together under one roof. Want to be just about the commercial cinema? Fine, then don’t act like these awards are remotely credible or something to covet; the price of an award should be things you cannot buy in stores, not a column on your marketing budget spreadsheet.

Anyway, rant over! Let’s get to the snarking.

 

BEST FILM
2 States
Haider
Mary Kom
PK
Queen

My choice: For me, this is a straight up contest between Queen and Haider…and I have to give it to Haider because we simply have not seen something so accomplished in a long, long, long, time. Any other non-Haider year, it would have been Queen.

 www.glamsham.com

http://www.glamsham.com

Who will win: PK so that Filmfare can prove it is relevant to the yoof, justify the monies paid for the award and J Pill can make the same point in his diary editorial of how Aamir shuns awards ceremonies like a sullen nephew but Filmfare is the vindictive aunty who still gives him the big award (thus pissing off nominees in attendance), waits in earnest for him to come along like Mama Karan Arjun waiting for her boys to return and always has a thali by the door on standby for a welcoming puja just in case. Yawn.

 UTV Motion Pictures

UTV Motion Pictures


BEST DIRECTOR

Abhishek Varman – 2 States
Anurag Kashyap – Ugly
Rajkumar Hirani – PK
Vikas Bahl – Queen
Vishal Bhardwaj – Haider

 

My choice: I have yet to see Ugly (my bad) but it is between Queen and Haider and once again, I want to give it to Haider – Hamlet is such a difficult role in any medium and to get that performance out of Shahid plus allow the rest of the cast to bring their A-game – Bhardwaj sir, you are a scholar and a gentleman.

SWALK. www.glamsham.com
SWALK.
http://www.glamsham.com

Who will win: RajKumar Hirani will get this. Trying not to hate on him but anyone else feeling that same ol’ same ol’ Four-Moolah with his films? Munnabhai + 3 Idiots x OMG? #blasphemy? No? Just me then.

Is there a drinking game for this film yet?  UTV Motion Pictures
Seriously, is there a drinking game for this film yet?
UTV Motion Pictures

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE (MALE)
Aamir Khan – PK
Akshay Kumar – Holiday
Hrithik Roshan – Bang Bang
Randeep Hooda – Rang Rasiya
Shahid Kapoor – Haider

My choice: I don’t need to have seen Holiday to know it should not be here – why not choose Kay Kay Menon or give Randeep Hooda another shout out for his marvellous turn in Highway? Hell, I’ll even allow pretty boy Siddharth Malhotra a spot with Hasee Toh Phasee which was more deserving than Akki. Anyway, to business! I want Shahid to get this – his career best. The end.

Keep the faith Sasha. www.glamsham.com
Keep the faith Sasha.
http://www.glamsham.com

 

Who will win: Aamir Khan – this is no bad thing really, he did give a great performance and made a difficult role look effortless and managed to get something unconventional acquire universal acceptance. Jab Nanga Mamu thappar marta hai,  jee bharkay marta hai.

Good thing he wasn't nude for this shot... UTV Motion Pictures
Good thing he wasn’t nude for this shot…
UTV Motion Pictures

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE (FEMALE)
Alia Bhatt – Highway
Kangana Ranaut – Queen
Madhuri Dixit – Dedh Ishqiya
Priyanka Chopra – Mary Kom
Rani Mukerji – Mardaani
Sonam Kapoor – Khoobsurat

 

My Choice: Sonam Kapoor???? WTF??? Surely Deepika Padukone should have at least gotten a mention for Finding Fanny Fernandes? Or Parineeti for Hasee Toh Phasee? And leaving Vidya out for Bobby Jasoos demands J Pill be arrested by Shivani from Mardaani and bitch slapped to the death. That aside, what a fabulous category filled with wonderful performances, all award worthy and far better than the Best Actor category in every respect. I would give this to Kangana for a heartwarming turn in Queen, with PC, Rani and Mads all also getting kudos for their roles.

Hey Kangs, you are awesome. TTYL. www.glamsham.com
Hey Kangs, you are awesome. TTYL.
http://www.glamsham.com

 

Who will win: Sonam Kapoor????? I would not be surprised. Hopefully, Filmfare and I will agree on this one and pick Kangana – so long as it is not Sonam, we’ll let them off.

Queen with her bitches. www.glamsham.com
Queen with her bitches.
http://www.glamsham.com


BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE (MALE)

Abhishek Bachchan – Happy New Year
Kay Kay Menon – Haider
Riteish Deshmukh – Ek Villain
Ronit Roy -2 States
Tahir Raj Bhasin – Mardaani

 

My choice: Ritesh Deshmukh showing us his loose motions face and justifying misogyny is up for an award? #kalyug! Why didn’t Rajkummar Rao get a nomination for Queen? Or Ali Faizal in Bobby Jasoos? Absolute nonsense selection committee. Actually, the other choices do manage to balance commericial and credible better– Ronit Roy was good in 2 States, Tahir was a worthy opponent to Rani in Mardaani and for my rupee, Junior B brought it to the table in Happy New Year. But I only have eyes for one performance here and that is Kay Kay in Haider – pure class.

 

www.glamsham.com
It was called Haider but Kay Kay shone – that’s class.     http://www.glamsham.com

 

Who will win: I have a horrible feeling it will be Ritesh which would be an absolute shambles and villany.

Don't look, Ritesh might get the award! #cringe www.glamsham.com
Don’t look, Ritesh might get the award! #cringe
http://www.glamsham.com

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE (FEMALE)
Amrita Singh – 2 States
Dimple Kapadia – Finding Fanny
Juhi Chawla – Gulaab Gang
Lisa Haydon – Queen
Tabu – Haider

 

My choice: First things first, housekeeping – Tabu’s Gertrude was not a supporting role, she should be in the leading role category – clearly no one from the selection panel actually went to see the masterpiece called Haider. What a disgrace that none of the lovely actresses from Bobby Jasoos are here either. Aside from that, I can’t complain as again, this is a stellar category with great performances that went beyond the call of duty. For me, it is Tabu followed by Juhi’s evil masterclass in Gulaab Gang which was sorely underrated and deserved far more attention than it actually received.

Oh honey, no, Filmfare doesn't mean that much any more.  www.songsuno.com
Oh honey, no, Filmfare doesn’t mean that much any more. http://www.songsuno.com

 

 

Who will win: Tabu for Haider to pay lip service but if Queen sweeps the board, Lisa Haydon would be a worthy winner too.

Any excuse to post a pic of this lovely lady. www.glamsham.com
Any excuse to post a pic of this lovely lady.
http://www.glamsham.com

BEST MUSIC
Amit Trivedi – Queen
Arko Pravo Mukherjee, Honey Singh, Mithoon and Pritam – Yariyaan
Himesh Reshammiya, Meet Bros Anjjan and Honey Singh – Kick
Mithoon, Ankit Tiwari and SOCH – Ek Villain
Shankar-Eshaan-Loy – 2  States

 

My choice: I am going to sound like a broken record here (oh well) but where on earth is Haider???? AND WHERE THE F*** is Highway? How do you ignore an A.R Rehman soundtrack??? Also I would have picked Hasee Toh Phasee for my Dharma Productions butt loving choice. My personal favourite was Queen whilst my guilty pleasure was Ek Villain which had some serious earworms.

Songs to make out to: Vol 100 www.glamsham.com
Songs To Make Out To – Vol 100
http://www.glamsham.com

 

Who will win: This is a 100 crore fight to the finish – 2 States vs Ek Villain – may the bigger budgeted film win!

Why is Alia's hair not getting an award?www.glamsham.com
Why is Alia’s hair in 2 States not getting an award? http://www.glamsham.com

BEST LYRICS
Amitabh Bhattacharya – Zehnaseeb (Hasee Toh Phasee)
Gulzar – Bismil (Haider)
Irshad Kamil – Patakha guddi (Highway)
Kausar Munir – Suno na sangemarmar (Youngistaan)
Rashmi Singh – Muskurane ki wajah (CityLights)

 

My choice: No contest, Irshad Kamil for Patakha Guddi with some soul stirring lyrics. Bismil was stunning too, telling several stories in one song so effortlessly but Patakha Guddi works just as well out of context too. Also props to Amitabh Bhattacharya for introducing Zehnaseeb to my vocabulary and for some lovely lyrics in general.

I didn't want that journey to end either. www.glamsham.com
I didn’t want that journey to end either.
http://www.glamsham.com

 

Who will win: Youngistaan – am sure my money bagged namesake will want to get some ROI on that never ending marketing budget plus it connects with the “youth”.

Bismil brilliant. Now stop staring at me. www.glamsham.com
Bismil brilliant. Now stop staring at me.
http://www.glamsham.com


BEST PLAYBACK SINGER (MALE)

Ankit Tiwari – Galliyan (Ek Villain)
Arijit Singh – Mast magan (2 States)
Arijit Singh – Suno na sangemarmar (Youngistaan)
Benny Dayal – Locha-E-Ulfat  (2 States)
Shekhar Ravjiani – Zehnaseeb (Hasee Toh Phasee)

 

My Choice: Just like that time you ordered a pizza when you really should have eaten something healthy, it was all about Ankit Tiwari for Galliyaan. Full of angst, longing and teenage hormones powered by pesticides fizzy drinks, this song sounded amazing. I also liked Benny Dayal for Locha-E-Ulfat too.

100 crore ville? Make a left at the paan stand. www.glamsham.com
100 crore ville? Make a left at the paan stand.
http://www.glamsham.com

 

Who will win: Arjit Singh – he has two nominations so double the chance plus the ever active 2 States PR team will be placated by this win.

Songs For Heavy Petting - Vol 2 www.glamsham.com
Songs For Heavy Petting – Vol 2
http://www.glamsham.com

BEST PLAYBACK SINGER (FEMALE)
Jyoti Nooran and Sultana Nooran – Patakha guddi (Highway)
Kanika Kapoor – Baby doll (Ragini MMS 2)
Rekha Bhardwaj – Humari atariya pe (Dedh Ishqiya)
Shreya Ghoshal – Manwa lage (Happy New Year)
Sona Mahapatra – Naina (Khoobsurat)

 

My Choice: For me, there are two favourites here – I loved Rekha Bhardwaj’s throaty and sensuous rendition of Humari Atariya Pe but I also went gaga over Baby Doll which allows me to indulge my inner ho and slut drop for my life on the dance floor till I get arrested and carried away. The Noorans are great for Patakha Guddi as it sounds like nothing else here but horror of horrors, I want my girl Baby Doll to win!

This whole world is made of steel... www.ibnlive.in.com
This whole world is made of steel…
http://www.ibnlive.in.com

Who will win: I think Baby Doll may just get this though one cannot disregard Shreya Goshal and Happy New Year which will need to win something if the cast are in attendance. #filmfareproblems

Wrong image, wrong song but slamming picture!  www.glamsham.com
Wrong image, wrong song but D Pad be slamming!
http://www.glamsham.com

 

Agree? Disagree? Don’t care? Let me know! Fire off in the comments below or continue the party on 100 Crore Central  Twitter: @bogeyno2

See you on the red carpet bitches!

 

xoxo

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